The Henry at Cosmopolitan Las Vegas is Dull and Uninteresting

The Cosmopolitan Las Vegas is one of my favorite places to hang out on The Strip. I’ve written about it plenty on this blog. After all, Jaleo, The Vesper Bar, Secret Pizza, and a totally cool chandelier are at The Cosmopolitan.

Not to mention a ton of World-Class Hotties on any given night. Suffice it to say, I love The Cosmopolitan. Except for “The Henry,” Cosmopolitan Las Vegas’ half-assed attempt at a 24-hour café. It’s located near “Marquee,” The Cosmopolitan’s night club.

Review of “The Henry’ at Cosmopolitan Las Vegas

The first time I ate at “The Henry” inside The Cosmopolitan Las Vegas the food was good but not awesome, and the server was a real tool. He was another ironically detached pretty-boy. Completely convinced to remain indifferent. He spent the better part of his emotions combing his hair before work.

My dining companion that night was a complete idiot, so I chalked that walk down Mediocrity Lane up to bad company.Unfortunately, my second visit to Cosmopolitan Las Vegas was plain and generic too, and Carrot Top was my dining companion.

Not really, but even the zany prop comic couldn’t have saved The Henry from dwelling in a piss-warm pool of average.

How completely rad would it be to hang out with carrot Top for the night at The Cosmopolitan Las Vegas? I’ve seen Dude in action around town and he would have us a limo full of women before dessert.

That dude is cool. He used to crack me up with his prop comedy and the “Wendy” gag, way back when.  I don’t know one person who has seen the show and not laughed hysterically.

He gets clowned by a lot of people, but I doubt he gets clowned much to his face.

Mediocrity runs wild at The Henry in The Cosmopolitan Las Vegas

Of course, on my second visit to The Henry, I get Douchey Douchenstein as my waiter again. He hadn’t changed his greet one bit: “Would you like something to drink..uhh, a cocktail, or….?”

In fact, he doesn’t change it up for anyone. At least that’s what I assume, because he greeted a nearby table the same way. They all ordered ice water.

The cocktail list is impressive, but I would expect nothing less from The Cosmopolitan, and $12, believe it or not, is pretty good for a craft cocktail on The Strip.

No matter where you go in The Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas, you will find fine cocktails

I chose “The Stubborn Mule.” A delightfully refreshing mix of Russian Vodka, Angostura Bitters, Ginger Beer, and Lemon. Right up my alley, and everything I had anticipated. Awesome cocktail. I would recommend The Henry’s bar. It outshines the restaurant, huge.

Do you have any favorite bars that are far superior to the restaurant they’re a part of?

My entree choice was the “Piled High” Reuben. ($15) The name of this sandwich is as correct as it is creative. The Reuben I received wasn’t piled high by any stretch. This was a girlie Reuben and, although tasty, way too greasy.

Not the good kind of greasy, but the annoying kind of greasy when the cook puts too much fat in the pan, and the outside of the sandwich gets your fingers all oily.

 They put the skinny little dried-up french fries in a miniature gumbo pot, and I’m not supposed to notice that they suck? If you’re gonna dress a turd up, at least be creative. Miniature deep-fryer baskets would be way cooler.

Were the people who conceptualized this place half asleep, or do they just think the public are idiots? Take a wild fuckin guess. Have you dined at The Henry in The Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas? Share your experience with us.

Thanks for reading.

Frankie G

This was a review of “The henry” in The Cosmopolitan Las Vegas

3708 Las Vegas Boulevard South
Las Vegas, NV 89109
(702) 698-7000

BTW, how do you like the new design?